imperfectmisery

2004-09-26T03:19:00.000-07:00

Heart to Heart communication

doin nth at home.
stonnin most of the tym.
darlin`s at church.
amazin i noe.
hah.
mmm drew sum henna thing.
look nice tho.
yupp.

miss alot of ppl.
but still miss my darlin
most, i miss gg out
with marmi and ryan.

miss hangin out with the
blacks. miss jenny`s
crazyness.

------
i miss gg to the sea side
with you at esp.

i miss standin up at the
roof top,havin a heart to
heart communication with
you.

do you rmb the first tym
you brought me there??
and the first tym i brought
you to paragon roof top?
do you still rmb wad you
wrote at the garden when
i wasnt with you for 9 days?

or do you even rmb how we
got together?-
spendin our 4days together.
and leavin each other
cryin badly for 9days?

--
baby,i miss how we used to
spend our days. out there
...
:)
i hope to be with as long
as possible. lyk theres no
endin for us. no more.
its jus simply coz i love you
...
muacks for my darlin.

2004-09-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

sigh sigh.

Am tokin to rachel.
shes so troubled.
oh wells.
i dunno wad to say.

everyone is so troubled
now a days.

wads gg on? mmmm ..
cant rather gus.
wells im so tired.
had art today.
bored.!
is to describ my lesson.
;)

cutt my hair
at far east/
looks beta now.
not so bushhy..

met darlin she pei me
for art.
muacks maucks for her.
headed to baby`s hse aft
art. We joke and laff.
:0

will we be lyk mardi
and rachel aft we
end??--
im feelin a lil worried
again i dunno wad to say.

baby haven call.
when is she callin?
i can tok things out with
rach cant comfort her
cz my sis is in my room.
im sorrry rach.
mmmm..

feelin rather guilty.
sigh.
im busy too..
gotta do hmw.
haha.. oops
;/

bleah. nth much today.
gtg.tata.

2004-09-23T05:50:00.000-07:00

I long for the warmth of days gone by
When you were mine
But now those days are memories in time
Life's empty without you by my side
My heart belongs to you
No matter what I try
When I get courage up to love somebody new
It always falls apart 'cause they just can't compare to you
Your love won't release me I'm bound under ball and chain
Reminiscing our love as I watch 4 seasons change

In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the misteltoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of the scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you
Go skinny dippin' in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves the trees are bare
When you're not here it doesn't feel the same

Remember the nights when we closed our eyes
And vowed that you and I would be in love for all time
Anytime I think about these things I shared with you
I break down and cry 'cause I get so emotional
Until you release me I'm bound under ball and chain
Reminiscing our love as I watch 4 seasons change

This loneliness
Has crushed my heart
Please let me love again
'Cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain
Or 4 seasons will bring the loneliness again

[no skool for Teo li wei-too sick am dyin]

2004-09-23T02:14:00.000-07:00

right. im facin the computer,
doin nothing. nothing at all.

im sorry to hand the fone.
im really sorry.
i jus have to say, your presence
affects me alot. without seein you
this is how it will be lyk.
ive tried my very best in chngin.
but i cant help it.
i regretted not changin frm the
start wen ppl told me too.
tht now its hard for me to face the
challenge. im tired.
things jus dun seems to go the way
i wan it to be. i jus tot you wld cheer
me up with ur words. but gus.
its all jus disappointment.
i disappoint you too many tyms.
its my retribution.
and yes if i dun change im gonna lose
you. but wad do u wan me to do
so tht i can hold you back?
you noe ive tried to change. change myself
change my temper. but nth works at all.

I wun be suprise if you choose to leave me.
im willin to let go. its your happiness.
and its my fault.
im to be blamed, im to be slapped.
Am i realli the one u wan?
to let you noe. this is realli who
i am. the one who has the worst temper
of all. i dun wish to lose anyone anymore.
but i realli cannt help it. its not tht
i dunwan, but i cant.!!

Now tht ive found sumone i reali love alot.
its hard for me to change.
again. for you, im willin to do anything.
you wan me to change. i oreadi did.
but i jus cant controll myself!
not tht i dunwan..
if only sumone can jus stab me.
i`l restart my life again.

im still holdin on gal.
ive tried my very best.

but if you cant stand me anymore.
tell me.
i`ll open up the bottle bung.
and relise you free.
---------/

2004-09-21T05:24:00.000-07:00

Should i still be bothered now?

i dun think so.
are things settled?
will ppl tell the truth?
why do lies have to exis.
and allow ppl to use it
lyk no body on earth
has got any feelins at all?

sigh.
darlin and marmi is back to normal
im glad to see tht.
im happy to see tht smile frm
them again.
everyone made mistakes.
darl gave marmi sec chance.

"do you eventually not rmb wad you`ve
said?? or was me and clare`s hearin
got prob?- i dunno whos lyin.
But since you really wanna disown me
as your son i say anythin.
i cant possiblly stop you lyk ur gf?
no i wun.
i`ll let you have your own choice.
its your life and your way of livin.
but i`ll owaez rmb i once had a fren
lyk you."

Oh wells darl is at cine now. and
yes happily im at home.
sigh.
i wan her to be with me in my ears
now. but i know she cant.
im tired. i wanna slp and slp forever.
i head facin life.
i owaez think everyday will be my
brand new day which i have fun, laffter,
peace and joy.
but everyday smth will have to happened.
well thts wad life shld be.
where do you get;
fun?-frenz. nope not best fren.
laffter?-with the one you love whole heartedly.
peace?-when the day youre in the coffin.
joy?-never did happen to me ...

gtg.

2004-09-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

Sigh..

Tiffany hue.
im sorry if this is gonna be bad.
You know i dont usually call ppl
by their names.
im sorry. i think you can see
a different within the pic above
and now the you and clare pic ..

I am not blamin you for everythin
..
everyone has got their own faults.
i told clare the same thing.
but now majority is you. and your
attitude.
you reali have to change b4 losin
anything.i dont wanna be mean.
bt i reali need you to now tht..
i want you to be who you really are.
and not to be who you know you dont
want to be. and no one else wants to
see you this way.
frenz dun see each other fall.
but you are unwillin to open up heart
and accept the facts.
we all know you love ryan. so you
have to hold on with everything you
have now and treasure it before
you know its too late.
clare has been your fren for a year+
and you know clare knows you very well.
Do you realli wanna shout at her and
ask her to leave you alone??
and lose a such good fren for such a small
thing?? yes. she has been tokin to ryan
most lately alot. ryan is oso her fren.
you are her fren too.
shes helpin you and ryan to be more happy
again. dun you wanna thk her??
jus to let you noe 2 other things.
-there are no such thing as best frens.
the only best is urself. you know yourself best.
not clare. there are still other negative or
positive things clare dunno.
thts why you need to try to communicate with
ppl easily. and accept facts.
well.. wadeva im sayin here , i hope u sumhow
understand it. im not tryin to teach you
any lesson or anything negatively.
i wan you to be who you are once.
im sorry , i miss my marmi.

2004-09-16T05:45:00.000-07:00

Best friends??

do you see tht pic above?
haa i hope u can understand
the love and care through the
smile. but i gus...
it wont happy again.

Pretty much things happened.
i dunno why but i gus tiff was right.
Everything is changing.
im sorry ihave to agree once again.
i see the way darl cried.
i see saw the way tiffany cried and
shouted at darl, i know everything
is gg to its end.
things wun be anybeta with a smile bright
again. i know it well.
i knowin its gg turn bad.
with my eyes. i wun forget the love darl
and tiff once had.
Can they turn back to the past again??
No , maybe. but wadeva has been set in
presence in wun turn back to the past.
well. let history lead itself to future ba.
i jus wan things to be fine.
i dont want anymore war.
but one thing , to whether the person is
willin to change or not. its up to the
person.
"everyone live to be who they are. and not
to live jus to please others."

i miss you and who you used to be tiffany.

2004-09-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

PMS-ING is a communication to your mood
yupp as i say. pmsing..
hah yeayea havin pmsing plenty of day.
im sorry baby if im mood swinging
alot. im sorry i cant help it.

kkay. mmmm its been two days le
baby got prelims. gonggong
look damn cute this few days.
hah her whines. damn oh my.
dunno how to say lyk a cat lyk tht.
-meaowwww-
aiya dunno wad to say jus boring.
gtg. bye.

2004-09-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

smiles!
wen to meet darl at
esplanate. lalala.
headed to cine.
darlin ate her hot wok
noodles while i ate my
claim chower and tofu soup.
heehe..
eat alot i know.
saw one hp string thingy.
darlin and i got it together.
haha. muackies.

k den went to paragon to sit
awhile then headed home thot i
was gonna be in shiit hah but
my sis sort off saved me?-?
hee..

----
im farkin dulan with my eldest sis.
farkin shiit!
she got farkin lots of comments wenever
i say anything lyk wads her problem??
wher she not happy with me??
everytym i got smth to tell my mama
she got the greatest comments in the world!
wad e fark.
can she lyk go take a good look at the mirror
and ask herself is she reali the greatest
person in the world tht everyone muz
listen to her nonsense??
halo??
shes jus a farkin god damn it tai tai.
oh my god i wun surprise if one day
she give comments to the wrong person
and ppl go wheck her man.
im more than happy.
she`s a BITCH!

2004-09-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

2004-09-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

yeayea..
din update blog ytr
but its okay. lots to say.
im happier each day.
hugs and kisses for my darling babey
...

yesterday..
wahoooo!!
went to skool to pei darlin
study. haha. oh man
was havin terrible headache
tht i dun think i had a
tym lettin it go away.
hah.
mmmm studied awhile then
go makan at the canteen
saw my team ppl havin trn.
sigh yeayea i miss trn
i miss everyone in there.
ha seems lyk everyone in ther
is showin me attitude.
lyk wad can i do?
but im serious. no one told me abt
the tym or anything for trn
how am i supposed to go?
cant expect me to wait in skool from
mornin to afternoon??
aiya dun bother la. im gg for trn
le la tmw.
hee.
dun bother la.
my team aint united anymore.sigh.

--
hah anyway, continue with my
happy moments.
mmmm, headed down to town to shop
with darlin.
yeayea!!!!
me got our pencil case. its been
long since last last month!!
i love you!!!!!!!!!
haha..
mmmmm.
muacks cya.

2004-09-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

lalala..
had great tym with darlin
today. . . muacks i love her,
mmmm went to skool bus stop
to meet darl.
man she took millions to appear
hah but wun blame her.
cant bear to la.
took cab home jus to get my
tamagotchi.. im afraid it will
die. haha.
then head down to ps to watch
movie. was supposed to watch
the cinderella story
but sold out. then had to watch
the garfield!!
i had no choice maybe was darlin
the one who had no choice..hee
cz i dunwan watch the face or
anaccondas. cz im scared..hah.
okay fine i admit im puny, and a
scarly cat.-rolleyes-
Garfield was a nice show tho it was a
lil lame la. but ya its cute.
in character i mean.
i lyk the way it dances.!!! ah!!
oh my.

WARNING!:
love me,
feed me,
never leave me.
brupppppp....

:)
hah i love tht line!!
smiles darlin wans me to be
GARFIELD!
i want i want!!
hee.. went to 77th street at
ps saw this damn chio wallet
darlin and i are plannin to
get it the same wallet!
hah she maybe gettin the white
or the black bcz the black
one got pink strips!!
and i wan the brown one looks
funky tho.
headed down to far east to look
for the black wallet
tht was wad the sellgal told us to do
then wen we went down far east.
they dun have ask us to go heerens.
but luckily it has.
but cannt reserve. sigh .
so we plannin to get it on sat.
hopin it will still be there on sat.
hah.
met gong,dee,jenny,jyren
hah was so happy to see them.
k wonder arnd till 8+
then had a ride with gong and darl
home.
gotta pay gong back the money when i
sees her again.
muacks.love you all.
i love darlin most!!

2004-09-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Happy 3rd month anniversary!
muacks muacks.
i love my DARLING!
its been long
and we had reached
our 3rd moth.
i wish to go
on my life with
you. do you??
i spend my every
moment jus for us.
i treasure you
lyk i treasure my
life and us.
:)
had great tym with
you today. love everythin
youve done for me.
tho i owaez say nth
surprises me at all.
but sum how i was touched
by wad you did to your
room today.
i didnt expect you to
be so creative and
to think of so many things
jus surprise me.
lolz darl i love you.
-
seems lyk our 3rd month passed
too fast. seems lyk we
jus had our 2nd month last week
. i wanna spend my everyday
slowly with you.
jus us alone.
do you??
hah darlin, aft 3mths r/s
with you i wanna pass our 1 year
then to 1 1/2 yrs.
rmb? i have to make everything
worth it for you?
maybe if possible to pass 2yrs.
i wan it to be my entire life.
i`l be more than happy.
happy anni dar.
;)

----

went out with darlin,samm,madd,dawn,allison and ash.
for free pizza hut.lol.yumm yumm
i love it.
of cz its free WAD! hah...smiles.
yeayea they invited us.
waited at town for dunno how long jus
for tht princess clare. hee.
oopps.
she got me a pencil case
a metal one!! the one i love most!!!
but i still love my darlin most.
headed down to far east plaza
for dawn,alli and ash.
aft tht headed down to darlins hse.
..
haha had dinner at serangon with my
mama. yumyum yeayea im griddy pig.
nvm dun bother.
i love darlin!!
...yawnzzzz;o
tired le. nitenite.

2004-09-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

day..
fine.
i supposed.
ohwells. im bored
darlin
loves to keep
things from me
sigh i dun lyk
it wen ppl wanna
get smth for me or wadsoeva
and hide everythin frm me.
ohwells nth surprises me.
:)

im serious.
nth will ever
surprise me at all.
yeayea sigh
do wadeva she wans.
im not botherin.
lyk ive said im
moodless now.
dun feel lyk tokin
but slpin or maybe
lyin on the bed.
and gaze at the cellin.
but i can slp.
yawnz.:O

day was orite.
aft trn went down town
with darlin.
stayed at ljs to study
with her. -faints-
i swear, stayin too long
at ljs can actually freez you to death.
hahah..
trn was terrible.
showed everyone exc jo
attitude.
i jus walked off the court jus lyk
tt. cz to me nw the team
aint united at all.
oh wells.
i dun reali care abt them
thx jo. thx for tht smile you
gave to me.
which so called brighten up my
day trn. but still it din
reali work tho.
takecare.

2004-09-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

fine fine...
gus its all gettin beta. but still
know i hurt her. im not a perfect person.

tht silly muffin.
i wun be tht assuming again ...im sorry.
ive done all tht to you. i was over doin everythin
i know tht. i was bein childish.
but im sorry i cldnt controll myself and my emotions.
i needed you the most i dunwanna be alone cryin.
i needed your comfort.
i needed you most. but you were bein heartless
and i assumed you didnt care at all.
i was thinkin too much. simply jus jealousy.

im feelin moodless. havin headache, yet dunwanna slp.
cant slp. can close my eyes. dunwanna close my eyes.
everytym im eyes they close, i`l see ur face.
and memoris bring me back to all the sadest moment
i had with you. and i`l cry.
i wanna cry no more darlin.
you are jus impt to me. i wan no one. jus you.

hah. darlin my sis is doin the flu massage thing to her
bf.. reminds me of you doin it for me. everythin they
do reminds me of us. i miss them all and i miss you.
this whole entry will be for you.
i jus need you to know your heartless feelin you feel
hurts me alot. means alot to me. wenever you say you are heartless
its means alot.
jus hope ya by my side.
and nv leave me alone cryin in the dark again...

you`remyoneinamillion.iloveyoucanyoufeelwadifeel?

2004-09-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

[cryin mood..] screamin tym.
i just need to scream i wanna burst everything out
i dunno wher to start from! i jus wan you
to understand me more alil. i need you more than
anything! i dun lyk the way he keeps msgin you
lyk he nv knew my presence at all!!!!!!!!!
im sorry i dunwan to pick tht call.. i dunno
how to tok you. bet you dun even noe im cryin-
i jus wan you by my side and be who you reali are
dun you get it?? i dunwan you to be heartless.
i dunwan you to be speechless.
have you changed?? me dun normally keep so quiet
on the fone everytym we quarrelled..
but seems lyk you are the one not tokin.
im scared to let go im scared to lose you.
but i feel as tho my lungs stopped me frm breathin
i can speak up but jus keep tearin and whining.
i need you the most.
i reali do but youre jus different today.
i dunwan you to be heartless!!!!!!! i dunwan!!!
why are you lyk this????????
everyone seems mean to me today. i tot i can have
you and your words to make me feel comfortable
but u din noe wad i wanted most.
i tot you knew me best. but i doubt im rite.
i feelin breathless now. i dunwanna live and be here
sittin in front of the com anymore.
im tired. everything is buildin inside me.
and im keepin everythin alone. i cant take the pain
nor the hurt anymore. yupp
this is the sec tym ya hurtin me so badly im sorry
but your words jus now simply hurt me, hurt me by the
you tok to me and yes everythin you said wasnt wad i wan
...
im sorry i punched. again and again.
and everythin jus seem so pain., so pain.
darlin can you feel it??
do you even understand??
i love you.

2004-08-31T05:59:00.000-07:00

teacher`s day celebration[?]

muhaahaha.
was quite a dull day i surposed. mmmm wore dark blue botton down. everyone in the blacks wore total black.hah. so cool. mmmm jenny dressed well today. mmmm had quite lots of fun with the class and everybody. but was sum how in a PMS-ing mood i gus.
aft skool stayed back awhile to pei my darlin to end her detention then wen down bugis area to look for the blacks. they were playin pool hahah. i learnt how to play!its so damn it fun man!, maybe its the kind of feelin wen you get to learnt how to play smth new.lolx.
wells. everyone was rather in a bad mood sigh. lots to say. reali got lots to say. but i dunno wher to start from. im a lil tired .

To everyone in the blacks.
mmmm im sorry for all the troubles i sum how caused at cine. Im feelin guilty sumhow bcz i felt very unfair for you guys to settle my probs. im sorry and thanks for the help. mmmm i gus lots of things happened to quite a no. of you all. saw gong cried i heart pain. but i dunno wad to do. i dunwan be lyk the rest to comfort in a big group. i`l wait till gong needs my help or wadsoeva den i`l slowly tok to her. mmmm gus thts wad im reali lyk. well, gong i noe everyone falls to their deepest even the strongest person in the world but they fall down at tyms wen they gets weaker.so pls gong dun keep everythin burden to urself. open it up if you need cry if you wan. you have all of us to be there for you.
sigh. everyone seems so busy with alot of things. posh my ahma, walked off lyk tht bcz she saw krsy. mmmm why is everyone lyk tht? marmi and jenny jus cant get over with the arguements wenever they meet. sigh. i have no other comments abt it anymore. but i jus want everyone to noe tht, i hope to see the old happy royales lyk how i met everyone frm the start. i miss those happy momments. will tht come true again? im still young yeayea im only a puny bung. do i deserve gg throu all the sorrows with my frenz??? its hard to find frenz lyk the family members. you all are the best. reali. i havent met such great frenz lyk u guys. i have met too much of breakin up frenship. im tired. its reali a breakin record tht for the first tym im spendin much much more tym with frenz lyk the family. i wan peace in the family pls??---- i love you all alot to bits. pigeh daddy, dun be angry or pissed anymore orites?? im sorry if im a lil harsh in my words at tyms. or maybe i was oso the one among all tht you were pissed with. im sorry. thkz for teachin me how to play pool [thkz to jenny for the help too ;)] daddy. i reali hope to spend more with you. muackies muacks i love everyone alot! i love my darlin the most. :)

gus thts most abt it for today ba. eh.. yupp. i havent eaten my dinner. but not hungry. on the fone with darlin gtg spend more tym with her le. tata.

2004-08-29T08:22:00.000-07:00

Fiona ong SUCKS

yeayea.. you seriously got a huge
problem with ppl. and me too me too!!
i too have a huger problem with you.!!
boo hahaah!!
oh god damn it. you ugly piece of nerd
mean nothing at all. jus thinkin of ur
own beauty world? halo!?! wake up.!
cz you can nv change urself into a beautiful
nerd.!! you will oways be a piece of ugly
nerd tht soon will be dump into the bin.
ha ha ha.. hooo.. ur lousy fone you bought
only for a few days?? wow!! thts so f------
hell amazin cz millionzzzie and zilllionnnzzzie
eyes watched you holdin on to tht god damn
it fone for more than a WEEK haha..
thts so funny .. oh well.
sighh.. such a ugly piece of person not
worth holdin on to such great fones in the world u noe?
maybe you can try havin fones tht are the
same model as tht you ONCE had..haha..lol.
tht are 5,6,7 hands hp. yea?? it will prob suit
you the most. or maybe it can reali bring you
to ur beauti world!! hohoho...
fiona fiona... dun blame ppl tht they will steal ur
god damn it fone la.. ohwells maybe you deserve it
or shld i said you are jus tht unlucky.
haahah.. oh oh..
god damn it. bitch.

2004-08-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

Day was orite i gus.
tokin to darlin now. she sounded
diff again. hope shes fine!
darlin...wo ai ni
hahaa... i miss my darlin had quite a
fun tym with her today together with
the pigehs parent.haha..
i miss my piggy piggy daddy alot.
lots to catch up with you dad.
-muackies-
piggy marmi jus pierced her toug today.
eeeeyyyy.. ouch.. pain..
marmi pls drink alot of water and brush
ur teeth everynite. and rinse it with
listrine. ok? drink cold water to numb ur
toug to prevent bleedin ya??
mmmmm mux take care of it okay.
erzhi and nuer love our pigeh parent!

-->

skool day earli in the mornin. had f------
lecture from pikachu.. oh tian..
it was terrible to horrible!! arugggghhh.
i swear i`ll kill tht class mate of mine.
she even accused me for insultin her and
bein sagastic infront of her?? oh god.
arruugghhh.. im f*&(%$$#@@#@@#%^%$^&&^&*(((*&^%%#$
bleahhhhhh..
i swear man.. its killin lor. i mean the whole
was goin against her tht day. its was damn obvious
ppl call her wake up then she pretended to
continuin slpin. then wen wake up she smile smile
smile.. wad a f&%%%^#%#@#%^^%$^**&%$#$ nerd she is man.
everyone in class was lyk "wow lao so damn fake lor!"
i said tht too..
but all she did was she go complain and push all the
blames on me.. lyk wad e hell.
m^#%$$%$Q#^$@@#%#f#$%$%#EEQQ$^^^&&&%#$#
im ANGRY!!!!
I WANNA KILL HER!! -BISH-

------>
sigh im tired. of sum frenship la.
its so farkin lame.. nvm. shant go in to details.
ahaa.. endin off.. with....
Youbroughtmeanewdaytorestart

2004-08-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

Oh wells im finally in a good
mood of swanin sum ppl.
shall i say out her name?? gus i shld
ya? theres no need to be shy you noe-
Gwendolyn KWAN!
since you love your name soo much.
i dun think it wld be a problem if
i say it out loud here and since you
always love to type ppl`s names whom you
dislike on your blog. then maybe i shall
do it on you yea? not a prob i gus.
it all started long long ago. but i shnt
drag the past out to argue with you.
haa.. oh wells since you dun lyk ppl to
touch your beloved precious.. then dun
do it to other ppls precious.
and if ya so damn good in wastin your tym.
then mite as well you jus use the tym to
do smth useful? oh ya i forgot.
you were nv useful at all. hahaa!!lol.
yeayea. i thought you always tell yourself
tht you dun talk to losers lyk me????? haa.
then why waste so much tym on me?? why waste
e tym insultin ppl lyk me??[loser]
isnt tht wad you called me?? gwendolyn?-
yeayea. pls have a lil backbone of your own
and stand up to be a proper bung if ya still
one of those many.
stop runnin for helps frm the passives.
bcz sooner or ltr they will be sick and tired
of GWENDOLYN KWAN HUI XIN.
oh btw ya in sec three this yr.. shld be more
or last mature a lil rite? but haa gus wad i
dun see a difference in you.
ya still the same old insultin gwendolyn.
who loves to insult lyk no body`s business.
i know im not mature or maybe not as mature
as you are. but halo? gwen?? you are one yr
older than me- arent you supposed to be a lil
more mature than i am. instead of sittin ther
and be childish? mmmm ya simply jus rude.
so i shall be rude to u.
haa u noe why? u were very rude to ur senior
ryan on ur blog. so dun blame me for bein rude.
to you. cz i dun and wun respect you.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.? tht every body has
to respect gwendolyn kwan??
u are jus lyk tht rest of the human beins.
No difference at all. ya jus nth.
unless ya the famous top king in the world
which is sososo not true..lolx.
and if you have so much tym on spreadin romus.
then mite as well .. put tht tym more
on BASKETBALL trainins since you are sososo inlove
with it infront of the passives. cryin so pitty-ly
infront of them thinkin they will sympathize you.
ha ha ha.. my godi godi ass...
ppl get so sick and tired of you do u know tht???
take care..
sigh.

2004-08-22T01:37:00.000-07:00

Im in the library now with my darlin.
read her sweetest entry ever. it was touchin.
i omost teared again. but i sweared i held back all my tears.
im loggin and i dunno why.
have been thinkin alot today.since mornin.
not abt me and darlin, its abt me and my mum.b
-faints- im tired i reali am. can anyone ever feel tht??
haven been tokin to my mum so happily lyk today for
damn long tym. I knw everytym wen shes hm im on the line
with darlin den she had to tok to me but i sort of refused to.
well. today, finally allowed me to realised tht her presence
was impt. i felt as tho shes was gonna leave any moment
in my life.
shes my mum, and all tho there are tyms wen i hated her so
much,I know i was wrong. very wrong.im sorry mum.
im rather still in tht guilt for wad ive done.
i knw i shldnt do it. in fact its all my fault yet i refused to admitt.
sigh.
To my Darlin
if im rather moodless today dun blame me or anything else.
im jus thinkin alot today the whole day.
jus worried one day if my mum is gone i dunno jow am i
supposed to even face the world ..
ive oreadi lost my dad. its all ENOUGH! i dunwan lose
anyone else at home. darlin pls understand. i need you too.
i need you to stand by me. all long.
i dunwan and dunnid anyone but only you
sigh..
i dunno im sorry.. i rather lackin out of words..
and yes ya readin ur x blog.
i dunwan sae anything cz im too tired to face any other
facts in the world..
im not gonna say anything else to wad ya gonna do
seriously im reali tired. i need a break ..
you know deep tht i only love you and no one else
Darling i really love you

2004-08-21T11:03:00.000-07:00

ya im feelin farkin sorry and
guilty. im feelin sorry for my darlin.
i shldnt be angry with my darlin.
yaya.. im owaez an tht fault ya?
haiz. nvm.
It was quite a day for me. i gus.
sigh. i cried and cried.im feelin alil.
???---moodless..--??
haa havin my menses today earli in the
mornin. and sigh im farkin irritated sudddnely
and tired. i jus wanna lie back and slp
forever. im sorry darlin if im soundin farked
up on the fone. im guilty for everythin.
=---

went darlin hse.. had our fun tym.
but still we cried.
i stared into her eyes. Didnt looked else
wher but into her eyes...
i saw her everything. Her prettyness.
Her sweetness melt my heart.. and her tears..
hurts me alot..
darlin said smth. made me wanting to cry so much.
make me realised deep tht i needed her more
than anything else.
"I wonder who will pamper you this small boy.."
darlin dun leave. this came into mind,.
i felt as tho im gonna drift away frm her.
we were partin.
i was scared. the niext moment i hugged her and
i teared. i gonna stop myself frm tearin.
and i felt darlin`s tears dropped on me..
"darlin i reali need you..
i reali do i love you.
do go"
i can sae so far.. of all those ppl ive met in my
whole entire life. shes my one and only ive found my
miracle frm. sumone i noe .. i can last a r/s with
for long with no worries. at tht tym wen i stared
into her eyes. It made me felt as tho..
im trapped in her heart. tht i cannt let go anymore.
its hard. the day we end will be the day i end my life.
rite underur nose..
---
darlin is cryin.. and its hurtin me..
alot. i wonder why.
darlin if im frustrated today.. pls dun blame me.
im sorry. gus u noe why..
darlin pls im sorry tht i hurt you.
im not a perfect person. i know you wanted
all ur happiness in me. i know tht.
but u noe everyone may fall wen they get weaker.
darlin i cannot oways make you smile.
i`l get tired too..
darlin pls dun cry anymore. pls..
im sorry for tht entry. its all out of anger.
darlin. pls trust me ive found everythin in you.
i trust you dun cry anymore. i love you i reali do,
i wun wan to spoil everythin. pls dun let go.
i`l do anythin jus for you. jus to make you smile.
but i wun let go.
cz i noe its not ur happiness at all.
it isnt..i know its gonna hurt you deep down..
so pls.. dun bring yourself to such situation pls.
i beg you.
dun drop another tear. its hurtin. its painfull.
im sorry. i guilty for everythin ive done.
darlin wads wrong? i love you.

2004-08-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

im hearin my darlin slp now..
hah shes tired la. =/
oh ya i shldnt be mean to SOME
ppl.ahh i promise darlin not too. and i
let darlin hav the choice to whether i blog
everything on my blog./ she msg tht person
to say smth. i shant name.
hohoho..

*darlin:
haha ya slpin and im bloggin. i miss you.
darlin pls tak good care of ur head.
its pain yeah. drink more water and rest well.
dun slp so late okay?? oh yeah,you finally
updated your blog huh.- hah..lol.
thx darl tht msg on ur blog is nice. mmmm.
i dun reali bother abt tht nite le la.
its over le. then jus let it pass on la yea?
mmm jus wanna tell you tht i had lots of fun
tht day at espl.there, its been long since ive
seen you laffin tht happily.
But seriously, wen you laff you look sweet.
and of cz PRETTY.lol.
of cz my darlin is chio la.hee.. but of cz..
you are not only good lookin. you re jus
simply wad i owaez wanted my stead to be.
i trust you i have faith in us. i wan us to last.
i want make everyhthin worth it for you.
lyk i told you and marmi.
"Im att to you not bcz of fame. not bcz of any
other reason. not bcz im usin you to forget sumone.
im att to you for who you reali are to me.
I dun and wun judge you thro wad others may say.
i judge you by my own eyes. my own heart. my own mind.
in fact i dun even hav to judge you.and i know i`ll
hav to trust you whole heartedly."
Darling i love you i reali do. i hope you know.
and you can tell. i wun wish to lose you and wun be able
to hav you back again. bcz it will be the day anything
can happen to me.
Darlin sorry to made you cry tht nite and jus now.
im sorry. i jus cant make myself face facts.
ive owaez lied to myself alot of things.
ya jus too precious.i love you gal.

2004-08-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

hee...day was pretty fun.
muacks! i love darling!
kay went for lunch at gwc with darlin
and marmi! hee.. tok alot.
esp:ghost~~ mmmm.. marmi
headed home after tht. while me and darlin
went bowlin. hah. it was a fun one!
kao! darlin play well sia.not bad.
at least my darlin is good at this.
hee. yupp..

skool was rather fun tho.
But as usaul. ms chan nagged. the whole
day! i wonder if her mouth is tired.
no i doubt so. -mean-
slpt awhile durin ms chan`s maths period.
yaya.. she smack me for slpin..lol.
but i dun give a shiit to her and continue slpin.
hee. im bad. she gave up on wakin me.by smackin me.
oh wells,today lit was the only first and last
period vino let us off early.
hah.. usually she will dragg lyk siao..

---->
darlins first game last lap. she got 71.
which i wasnt reali happy with..
cz sumppl had to bad mouth tht she wil get 71.
f--- it man. hah not tht mean.
but still. aiya i`ll jus be str8 forward here.
wld tht person please kindly stop textin my darlin.
cz its irritatin. of cz all guys are irritatin.
yes i hate you for bein the f------ glass in btw
a r/s and cousin trouble.
im typin it here cz i noe you have been readin my
blog most of the tym yeah?? for the last tym
aft readin this f------ entry jus f--- off and
dun enter this blog again. cz i dun welcome you.
thanks for tht attention[youknowwhoyouare].

-----<

2004-08-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

haha yay!!! it was reali a great day.
mmmm.. ytr nite darlin and i cried big tym
on the line. but everythin was fine le.
i love her. i reali do. i know i wun change
my mind for anythin and everythin.
im meant to be hers. and shes meant to be mine.
i wun allow anyone to tak her away.
SHE`S MY *DARLIN!

oh wells. today had a great tym spendin
wit my darlin. i lover her. hah..
im repeatin it. alot of tyms. who cares.
yupsyup.headed to town aft trn to mit darlin.
bought omlet?? mm brought it to esplanate.
roof top was closed.
so we headed to the place near to the sea..
whooo hoo its was nice and fantastic.
tho it was a low tite sea.. haha..
mmm saw a crk couple there too. a bung too.
ahh tht bung look so depressed..
[me and darlin were thinkin she jus broke off
with gf lolx]
mmmm the crk couple damn farni,.they were sittin
oppersite us. and they were tokin damn seriously.
haha. unlyk me and darlin. laffin our ass off.
haha i blew into darlins ears. she got itchy
ahah first tym sia.. haha. den darlin say i blow
lyk tht old woman liang popo.. huhuhu..hahahah
retarded!!!
mmmmm i havent seen darlin laffin so happily
for long le. well she reali look damn pretty
wen she laff. Her smile and laffters. made my
heart melts and warm. i know im safe darlin.

.....
headed home at 6+..
wen to gwc. to get my hm econs stuff for tmw`s
practicall.hahaha im so scared!!
hahh,, i need my darlin! mmmm
headed hm. called darlin.
aye!!! darlin gave me a glass written by her.
alot. hah its so sweet and nice.
i love it! darlin so creative! got my gense.
ahheeee..

Twm,...haah planned hao le.. gonna
be out bowlin with darlin at kim seng ther.
hah..
i promised her le. so mush do it. heee.
im lookin forward for tmw.
i love darlin!!!

2004-08-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

*darlin..

gus im realie over doing everything on you.
im sorry. Gus i was being unreasonable.
But you dun understand. there are more of
it at the back. You nv knew the deepest feelin
i had today.But i was jus too tired to say anythin
tht it made me kept quiet.
Will you ever feel the same wen i cling hands
with sumone close to u??
If you dun feel anything i dunno wad else to say.
but i was reali jealous.
sigh.
I thought you would say smth to make me smile again.
but u din. you were jus happily tokin to her
[whom i shall not name.]
You allow me to drop tht tear alone. you said you
will be there wen im all alone. but wher were you.
when i needed you the most.
I doubt you had change, i bluff myself. but gus it was
rather obvious tht you reali did.
i wan my darling back
I reali want tht old you back. That old clare who never
fails to be ther sweet tokin to me. to be there to
wip my tears off. to be there to offer me the warmest
hug of all tht no one gave before.
But frankly speakin everything seems to be changin.
Us,You and Me.
clare my darling nv fails to be there for me every
moment when i needed her most. i love her for who she is.
not wad others say bout her. not using her to replace sumone.
sumone not worth to me.clare, the one who gave the biggest,
warmest hug ever. tht tells me everything will be fine.
Everytym i receive a hug from clare i know im home.
I know i`l be safe in her arms.
But i know she`s changin. Is she?? maybe i was wrong.

Darling.Things has been changin.
But i dunwan to lose you. i dunwanna give up on us.
Im sorry.
I made you cried so much. i made you feel you
so guilty. i made you feel as tho a million apologise
can nv replace my wound. im sorry darling.
im sorry..
I realie dunwanna let go. dunwana leave you.
im sorry. i reali am.

2004-08-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

Sigh. today ish realie bad i gus.

>
skool was orite i gus. jus alil tired
and cant be bothered. got chased out
by ms chan. hah. it was funny. she was jus
making a fool out of herself.
but i doubt she knew anythin.

After skool ahead to my darlin`s form
class to pei her for maths with son.
Was still orite at tht tym. things went worst
when we were down at town..
[more details ltr on...]

i was reali tired i gus. maybe bcz of the
medication i took. hah it was a drozy one.
had recess with marmi and darlin.
marmi was in a bad mood. ha muacks!
hope ya feelin beta.[ur tummy]
mmmm ..wad else can i say.. ha no mood.
we quarrelled

2004-08-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

Helo!! im here to blog again.
its been long and im gettin older..
hee.
munchin away with my curry rice.
yummy its delicious.
WARNING!!: ppl who loves curry rice
look out for the bukit merah most
delicious curry rice![thts wad im eatin]
hee.. its nice reali!Check it out man!

----
yesterday?
mmm it was all find and nice.
but sumhow my words at nite affected my darling.
im sorry.i dunno wad to say.
darlin: my words last nite are all true.
i dun love or lyk her anymore. my heart is wit u.
i only love you and i reali need your trust thts
most impt. i wan you to noe deep down in me my heart is only
with us and no one else. i wanna 'travell' as long
as possible with you lyk theres no endin line for us
you mean everything to me. i trust you tht much and not
be fussy over ur past. same to you. i wish you wld the same
to trust me tht much. and forgive my past.
[The past is jus a memory to us]
ya jus my miracle i wun let go of us.
i wun turn my back on you.
i have faith in us. i love you. and no one else.
i wanna spend my future with you.
cz i noe we will last long. ever since ive found you
ive found a new day for me to restart myself.
will you forgive my past??
i hope so. cz im willin to forget my past.
darlin im down on my knees and i wan you to be with me
as life tym goes by. ya my one only miracle i love and
wun let go. i promise.clare i love you.

----
last was at my darlin`s hse havin fun..hah.
mmmm went for art ytr. gosh it was fantastic.
i had to do a huge drawin for two weeks. and my day was
not screwed up for once.. my tee praised me!!
hah.. -prooffff!-
hah..tho my mood wasnt reali good cz i din get to mit
my darling in the afternoon. but still i tried my best to
do a great job.. and its all for my darling.
i love her with all my heart.
reali do.

last nite late at nite. i helped darlin did her blog.
her previous blog add was screwed thts why she changed again.
and her previous tem was damn nice only the back..
mmm then rechanged again.. till verylate
then i logoff. haiz.
hah had super bad nitemare for the first tym aft soo long.
darling i dreamt tht i lost you. we had to part.
i cried in my dreams and i screamed in my dreams.
i wished everything wasnt true. and i got up.
realisin everythin was not find. i cried again.
i cried for you. i wanted you to be with me.
i needed a hug. and you called.
darlin dun leave me.. its reali a terrible feelin for me to feel.
i dun lyk it. no ont does.
i wen t back to slp. and i had another nitemare.
it was different'story' but still you left me..
you dumped me. i cried more again.
i dunno wad to do

smth runs round my mind

2004-08-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

I feel as tho im losing your presence.
I dont knw why. i jus wanna cry suddenly.
I feel as tho things is startin to change
us.do you think so?
Maybe not. not everyone feels the same rite?
haa. im jus afraid very scared to see things
i dnt wish to see. If only you can assure me
that i wun be able to see the things again.
haa if only....
i think too much la yea??
im so fraglie. why cant be strong?? why dont you care?
I dont you to wait to worry too much thts why i lied.
im sorry ya i knw you are not borned ytr.
but i cant stop my eyes frm tearin.
i hate my old self. i hate everythin but i love you.
anyone objects??
we are still not tokin. i dunno why.
i dunno the reason..
sorry i cried too much. i made it obvious.
im reali scared.reali i am.
scared to lose you
scared to see you turnin your back for someone new.
scared to see a different you.
scared to face the fact when its the day ya gonna leave.
[i knw i wun face all the facts of tht.clares my gf]
xx(
scared to make you hate me wen ya gone.
scared to face the world alone
im so scared abt alot of things yet i dunno how to
express it till you reali understnd.
Its not tht i dunwan to say. but i realli dunno how to
tell you every single thing in me!
i din mean to do alot of stuffs to you to hurt you
at tyms. i jus wan you to happy but i realised at tyms
i failed to do so. and im angry with myself alot!
i jus felt so useless today i dunnno wad ive done.
i dunno why im lyk tht i realli dunno dun force me
to tell you anymore. cz even me myself dunno wads gg on.
i realli dunno..
dun ask me anymore.
im jus feelin so uncomfortable.
im sorry.-endin-

??<<<<<<

2004-08-11T07:59:00.001-07:00

i dont knw wads wrong with us.
we suddenly seem so quiet. wad happened??
I gus i jus said smth wrongly to my dar.
now she so quiet..
anyw she dun feel lyk tokin i oso cant do
anything.as long as shes fine can le.
dar. im reallie afraid to lose you.
to see others takin you away.ilu

jus had new template.
wells its a lil dull but who cares.
i lyk it can le..sigh.
dar put down the fone le..widout sayin bye bye
darlin im sorry
dar today a bit weird weird de. dunn wads wrong.
i wonder.
examz start le. promise my dar to study hard and
be promoted. i cannt retain.
sigh i wanna cry suddenly.. i dunno why.

please dun do this to me gal

2004-08-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

Its 1120hrs//..
ya still absence in me..
wher are you?? can you hurry call??
i dunwanna lose you. im down on my knees.
hopin you call.. prayin you will be fine.
i beg you dun do this to me.
pick up all my calls.
if ive done anythin wrong pls forgive..
im sorry..
i cannt survive no more.

----

wads wrong now?? ya not callin neither is
any text msges from you.
im reali worried.. no bothers to care.
i need you rite now.. wads wrong?
thts wad i wanna noe.
if you wanna leave call me and tell me
dun leave me in silent. im scared gal im reali scared.
dun do this pls..hurts me.
wad am i suppose to do? i dunwan to jus sit here
and do nth..

im gg out..im gonna out alone.
i dunwanna think no more..

if you have to leave..
pls do so. im tired.
dun say a word and leave.
but i`ll care and miss you.

where are you?

2004-08-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Shld i jus leave you alone or wad?
shld i be worried or shld i not?
i cant just sit here in front of the com
and do nth.. i just wanna knw wads goin on?-
why cant you call and tell me?
dun leave everything to urself.
i wun allow you to leave nor wld i
allow you to get into shiit alonne.
i wanna be there..
i wanna go down ur hse now. and make sure
youre find.
Everyone asked me to not worry. to relax.
but i cant. i cant relax i knw ya not
gonna be okay, niether will you be oright.
dun leave me here alone pls
its 1058 hrs// and u havent call me yet.
wad are you up to? dun go misssin or wad so eva.
let me knw wads on ur mind thts wad its impt.

---------

your fone was off and ur hse fone was busy
wads happenin? i dont knw ..
i dunwan to be kept all alone here.
pls clare.. pls.. call me asap.
im missin everything here.. thts you.
i wun leave till you do. pls let me noe the truth.
im realie worried.
my heart,it tore.
i cant slp niether will i slp tonite.
im gonna stay up til you call im willin to wait.
even to die now at this moment.
you mean everything to me. i jus wish to tok things
out with you..
its 1100hrs// now.. i still dunhave ur call.
wads happenin. wher are you?
wad have i done wrong now?
dun be alone keepin all the sad things in u.
and keepin it to urself. im ur gf.
i shld knw..
even if you plan to leave at least let me knw.
dun keep me in the dark. i shld noe the reason why.
darlin i reali love you its only you tht made my
miracle happened everyday.
i wanna see you i wanna go to ur hse to look for you.
i dun wanna see you leave but if you do..
let me knw and i`l let go.. for ur happiness.
everything i do for u is worth it.
---

I tried callin again.
everything was still the same.
now im on my own to search for you.
everyone is busy.
while im here waitin for you.
the more i call the more im gonna
worry and the more it makes me cry.
darlin call me back orite?
dun do this to me its not gonna be fair for me.
i`ll do anything to hav you to call me.
im still waitin for ur call.
when are you callin?
i cannt dun worry anymore.
im plannin to sneek out of hse to find for you.
im reali worried..
dun do this to me anymore.
it hurts.
hurts me alot..
you said you wun let me cry alone darlin.
now im alone bcz ya not tellin me why ya not callin.
can you explain or rather call me rite now?
im scared. scared to lose you..
darlin you seem find jus now,
why are all this happenin to me again and again?
marmi is clubbin so is daddy.
everyone seems to be fine but im not..
cz my darlin din call till now..
how can i not worry anymore?
idunwannaseeyougo

The birthday gal

2004-08-04T07:15:00.000-07:00

HAh today my muffin`s birthday!
hah ya one year older! hah mmmmm
sadiest thing im still 14.. well.
who cares. ya! and sum ppl
lyk you can go in and out monks.
and watch NC16`s movie lar.. wad the ...
sobb... anyway.
reali reali wanna wish you the bestest
greetin:

Happy birthday muffin!

hah. muackies! hope you enjoyed your
day today. tho it was reali a lil?? screwed?
yupp but rmb you still have me!
i still love you and will oways love you.
hope you lyk tht boilin tube i gave you
and tht pigglet flower i bought so last min!
hah. i love you muffin
!
do you??
hah tata.
16 years old very big deal meh-??! eh!!

The reason

2004-08-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

The anniversarys

2004-08-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

Well. today is the two love birds couple
aniversary. hah so cool same date.
hah ooohhhwhhooo. well celebrated with happiness.
-went to skool had boring lesson.
[provided with boring ppl and slower tym.]
-tym reali did pass damn slow.
oh wells two pretty princess did not cum to
skool today happily me alone in skool.
nah.
-after skool wen taka to mit dem.
[i changed rather fast]ooh.;)
-had soulgardan with the piggehs!
*winks*
-ate and ate. sis came to pass me my keys.
hah. god damn it ! my tummy was damn full!
-oh wells went to get my muffin a piglet flower.
hah gus she love it. i love her, so does the piglet i bought.
-mmmm she was touch celebrated the birthday gal
which is my muffin! with a terrible slice of cake bought from
taka to heeren.hah.
[thx to tht piggeh daddy.hmmmm]
-took new prints with piggehs! so cool.
-headed to my muffins house.jus to save her frm her mum.
-oh god damn it! my muffin left her hp in the cab.
and provided tht cab driver dunwan to pick tht fone up
went i called.screw it.man!
-the world is so screwed up!..
-left my muffin`s hse at 8..headed hm..
*stinks* oh no tht refers to me

tata.

2004-08-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

so now you think tht entry
i typed for you is act me teachin
you how to be a human??
i dun mean anythin lyk tht lor?-
i jus hope have peace with you..
i gus im willin to forgive but you are not.
i dunno wad to say.its okay..

2004-08-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

mmmm today aint reali good igus.
reali not in the mood of smilin.
but my darlin made me smile.
well ..

to leisha,iverson,and sopia.
mmmm i hope you guys aint mad over me.
imsorry i din mean to be stonny
today. lyk i say wasnt in a mood.
bcz of skool and trn. imsorry.
oh and leisha.. sorrry ar today damn
stonny but ya reali the crappy but strong
person ya sad inside everyone can tell.
but if anythin mus say. ok?? hah my beloved uncle.
hah.tc.

lastly: marmi,daddy.
thx for helpin me all the while.
i noe you both did alot.
i apreciated it. im sorry you guys
are jus too good. muackis and hugs! i love you both to bits.

2004-08-02T05:21:00.000-07:00

to my darlin.
darlin! im sorry to be so emotional
today. i din expect myself to cry so
easily. im sorry. thx for the hugs.
the comfort, it all mean alot to me.
mmmmm..
darlin i reali din expect marmi to treat
me this way. its reali the first tym.
i wonder if she understn.
anyw. darlin wo zhen de shi ai ni de.
darlin mus tc okay? dun be lyk me
so emotional hah.
im feelin le la.. i gus, i jus dunwan
anymore trouble and all.
i love you you bring the best in me, oways.
muackies!

2004-08-02T05:14:00.000-07:00

daddy?- i have lots to say.
but too lil tym.
mmmmm firstly.
ya reali a farni,crappy,crazy daddy.
to me? and clare. aft all you have owaes
been the best father since the day i own
you as my daddy. i respect your presence.
i admire marmi`s braveness. she is strong.
so are you.
you kept all the sadness in you and not
showin anyone. i hope to have the too..
but can i? no i cant im too fragile.
hee. look how sadistic your son is.
?
i jus wish to be ur son owaes and nv turn
our backs on each other.i nv expect myself
to hav such a great daddy.
loong story. anyw. its gonna be short and easy
i love you
ya my beloved daddy engrave in my heart.

2004-08-02T04:51:00.000-07:00

Why did you made me cry?
why did you even hurt me so badly?
ist the way how a mother shld do
to her son? -i wonder-
you tore my heart into pieces.
i wonder why.
why are you this way?
are you all along this way??
i dont think so. cause you change.
im sorry to be str8 forward.
i didnt mean to but its been hiddin in me
for long. i dunwanna hurt you with
my words either.
im sorry to vent my anger on you today.
but wasnt in a rite mood. ya i shldnt do it.
i admit im sorry.
i shldnt show you attitude. its my fault too.
but mus i be the one apologisin all the way?
shld you too? i hope you will.
i hope you knw your mistakes.
bet ya gonna get mad at me aft readin this.
am i still in ur eyes as a son?
i dun wan to disown you cz i believe you will
change to be beta. i`ll change mine too.
youre pmsin the whole day.
but pls do not vent all tht shit in you on the
ppl arnd you tht are willin to love you and care
for you. im owaes there for you. so is clare.
but ya ventin everythin on us.
we are hurt by it. sorry to say this reali am.
i hope you understn. its been long since i
experience ppl hatin me infront of me.
thts why it hurts alot.i hope in ur eyes im still
your beloved one. cz ya still my beloved marmi.
everyone learns to forgive and forget wil you?
i hope so.
marmi i wan you to noe how much i reali wanna care
for you and how great you reali are to me and clare.
you reali have done a great job as a mother.
i hope you dont change again.
this is only for you my beloved mother eva.
erzhi still loves you no matter wad..i promise.
[i need a word with you tonite. jus wan to tok things out.
if theres anything not settisfied wit me pls say.
dun keep it to yourself. ilu.]

Can i miss you?

2004-07-28T05:55:00.000-07:00

Well well well.
Im tired reali tired..
On the confernce with three ppl.
sigh so bored.
i miss doin art!
hah see my piggy daddy do her art
i oso wanna do! hah i miss gg for art every sat?!-
mmmm darlin got a lil pissed wit me cz i fell aslp
in the library @ taka. den jb called i dunwan
ans. cz its irritatin everytym i slp got so many ppl
call. haizyo no peace in slpin! hah.sorry ar darlin.
and i rejected holdin darling`s hand! oh no! i din
mean tooooooo-- darlin dui bu qi.
wo mei you bian wo hai ai zhe ni!muacks!!
----
daddy was rather tired today.
maybe cz of her work. i think.
"daddy dun stress yourself wit art! it rawks!
and erzhi can owaez help you."
darlin was feelin cold today.. i heart drop.
my body oso damn cold. we got the same connection noe?
ahhaa.. i love her and thts why we are a couple for a reason.
hee..
oooppz. had my bee hoon le.. bao bao le.
darlin mei you eat.. she on diet! -screams- she and
my piggy marmi the same crazy over diet.
haizyo. diet for wad? got food mus eat cannt waste
africian ppl got no food to eat so you all mux eat.
hah.
oh my mama!!!! two passive on the fone gg against me!!
saveme~~~~
-sreamz-

Bitch,bitch,bitch-

2004-07-27T06:03:00.000-07:00

Wad do bitches usually say to each other?
-iwonder-
"hi bitch,
bye bitch,
takecare bitch?,
cya bitch,
hows life bitch?-,
thanks bitch,
ya welcome bitch,
my pleasure bitch,
why do you say that bitch?
simply beacuse ya a bitch!
hah..
bitch bitch youre a bitch!
whooo~~ hoo~~
who cares or who gives a fcukin damn to whether ya
bitch,morron,bastard,matherfucker etc etc etc.
maybe you can invade a new one..sexfucker
oooo..
thts realie gonna be amazin ya?
Wells, im realie mad i gus.
but jus sum matherfcuker cant be bothered anymore!wheee~~

-----------

Why things have to be brought up these way?
cant be jus mind dere own fcukin business??
oh wells.
mmmoooooddddswings..
again
sigh, tata.

2004-07-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

Came hm with black face.
hah darling duno lyk it either.
but wasnt reali in the rite mood la.
sigh.
things has to happened this way when no one
loves it at. no one.
[no more details]
went down bugis with marmi and ya she wasnt
in a good mood godd! wads with everyone!
nvm. ya she jus walked off lyk tht wen we reached
bugis why??
mmmm i gus she dun reali have the mood for anything la.

Shld i type her msg? i gus so.
my beloved marmi:
aiyo marmi ar marmi. dun so moody le la.
so short tempered very fast old de wor.hah.
chills man! ya la i oreadi tried cheerin my muffin
up le. dun so worried okay?
aiyo.. everytym see my mamri so bad mood hor i scared you
very fast old den bu mei le.
hah.
jus rmb la "wadeva happens,whenther wind or shine. you will
owaez have:me [your erzhi],clare [your nuer],Ryan [my daddy!]" hah
you both ar will oways be my beloved parents.
the funcky cool cool crazy old parents/
hah havin two adorable,innocent but crazy lil kids.
lol.
dun let anythin affect you and ur mood esp ur r/s ya?
rmb thts wad you told me?
i still love you as my marmi tho at tyms im pissed with you.
and of cz not forgettin my daddy.
i`ll too oways love you tho ya oways crazy and gg mad
but well i frogive ur crazyness.
smiles guys!
this family simpliy rawaks with my darling! and you both.
liwei loevs you all to bits.

--------------

my muffin:
darlin wo ai ni!
hah of i wun forget you. and not type a msg for you rite?
my beloved muffin leh.
how to forget? ahh i love you and of cz i mean it alot!
again i repeat dun let anything everyth lil thing affect you
or us.
i treasure and cherish every single moment we spent.
i`l nv forget. its reali the best memory.
i love you trueli do.
tho at tyms i cant control my tantrum and all
and hurt you with words. i hope you reali dun take it to heart.
its all out of anger. i swear. i cant bear to do anything
to act hurt. you dun deserve the hurts but my love.
you are realie the one i wun forget. the one i noe
everything will be fine wen im in ur arms.
the one tht owaes allow me to look on the brighter side of life.
the one i know wadeva i do i wun regret even till the day ya gone.
you worth every single beat of my life.
cant bear to let go of us.
i love you.
-----------------

sigh came home with a bloody terrible mood and a bad redish eye!
-screams-

tata.

watch your mouth kid

2004-07-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Day in skool was orite i gus.
jus a lil tired and stress out wit skool
work and all.
wanna keep them out of me.
I din go for trn had to finished my geo
work. gotta hand up by today..
hah.
tymtable has changed again.
its irritatin, but gus the tee has got nth to
do. thats why.
man.. cant realie be bother to provoke sumone le la.
so boring no fun.
hah. *craxy*
oh wells. im just missin my art days.
i miss my muffin
sigh..
waitin and waitin but no fone calls from you.
why??
sorry for be mad at you.I din mean to.
But i was reali not feelin comfortable.
jus dun lyk it wen its not logical at all.
I miss you.
call me pls......
smiles.
dun sad le muffin. ya the cheerful muffin
tht brights up every light in me.
I love you.
------

gonna pass marmi smth tmw.
hah..
ssssshhhh
its a secret. anyw i miss my piggy daddy.
and piggy marmi!
hah...
callin my muffin now..
Wher are you?
-pick up pls-

sigh....*wonder and miss*
doubt she`s gonna call.=

2004-07-26T07:30:00.000-07:00

Thank you alot for that ungrateful
person. at least you did whatyou said.
lyk ive said i wun bother you again.
have your own ways.

/

Ya so now ya angry with me cz
Im honest enuff to tell you that i took
only one.
and im not supposed to be angry with you
bcz you lied and act you took six of it.?
halo???
you happily told me you took two but
you lied.. you expect me not to be angry?
i dun see the logic at all.
sigh.
ive nth to say.
its oways me and my stupid fault yea?
forget it la..dun bother.
i still love you.
-----

[If only things were right for me,
If only i can make things right.
If only you`re just by my side
I`ll promise to hold you tight.
If only...]